“To Live. To live will be an awfully big adventure.” —J.M. Barrie
Kelly & Steve should be in Mexico right now. I should be returning from a business trip and a visit to my hometown. My sister is rescheduling her vacation to New York, planned for later this month. Travel, is not an option…..for now.
So how do we choose to live through these restrictions? We are Americans, fiercely independent. We are used to hopping on our horse and heading “out yonder”. We were founded by A-type personalities who wrote some lofty ideas on a few pieces of parchment and told King George what he could do with his lousy tea.
Now, I have “papers”. I have a piece of paper in my purse, a letter from the general counsel of my company, stating that I am considered an essential service and would you please, nice officer, NOT give me a fine or throw me in jail for driving my car down the road? After all, I’m essential. Thank you so much.
How did THIS happen?!? And how do we cope? It goes against our very nature to deny ourselves anything. I believe this is more about the fact that my generation has lived a fairly carefree life up until now and the only barrier to satisfaction is the size of our paychecks.
We’ve had no Great Depression, and even the Great Recession caused no bread lines or significant shortages. Now, the grocery shelves previously holding paper goods and cleaning supplies are gathering dust.
Tonight, I made dinner conversation over the fact that I found a single roll of paper towels on the top of a grocery store shelf. “Score!”
David Kessler, who famously co-wrote “On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through The Five Stages of Loss” with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, has some advice on getting through these confusing times:
“Acceptance, as you might imagine, is where the power lies. We find control in acceptance. I can wash my hands. I can keep a safe distance. I can learn how to work virtually.
You can also think about how to let go of what you can’t control. What your neighbor is doing is out of your control. What is in your control is staying six feet away from them and washing your hands. Focus on that.
And, I believe we will find meaning in it. I’ve been honored that Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s family has given me permission to add a sixth stage to grief: Meaning. I had talked to Elisabeth quite a bit about what came after acceptance. I did not want to stop at acceptance when I experienced some personal grief. I wanted meaning in those darkest hours. And I do believe we find light in those times. Even now people are realizing they can connect through technology. They are not as remote as they thought. They are realizing they can use their phones for long conversations. They’re appreciating walks. I believe we will continue to find meaning now and when this is over.”
So it is a time for creativity and imagination. We have to work at entertaining ourselves and staying connected. So what can we do? Try some of these:
Virtual Sunday Dinner — Yeah….you know I’m a fan of this one. Make it fun. Add some games or activities. Last week we created our own wine labels to share. Goofy, silly….bonding with friends.
Virtual Pictionary—with some advanced planning and shared screens on Zoom, WebEx or some other social connection app, you too can enjoy a wonderful Saturday evening with friends!
Virtual Trivia — My Rotary Club held our annual charity fundraising Trivia Night with “tables” of teams competing for top prize and donating to charity through Venmo!
Virtual Happy Hour —. Mix a drink, dial up. Voila, you’re visiting and laughing with friends and you don’t have to flirt with the bouncer to get in the club.
Virtual reunions – I have a group of college girlfriends that are closer than family to me. Over the past 36 years we have found a way to gather at least every couple of years. We’ve gotten together at weddings and on a whim. We’ve met up in New Orleans, Asheville, NC, Galveston, TX and most recently, repeated visits to San Diego, CA. We are scattered across the country, literally. Instead of a get together this summer, we are having weekly Zoom visits to check in, laugh, reminisce, and comfort each other. This week two additional friends joined our call—one from Florida and one from the UK. Why did we wait to make this a regular event?
We’re in “If Mohamed can’t come to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammed” territory. So whether you’re hiking up the mountain, or waiting for the mountain to arrive, make some dinner. You might get hungry.
Keep calm, and wash your hands.
Santa Maria-Style Tri-Tip
Equipment
- Roasting pan with rack
- Large frying pan
Ingredients
- 1 2½ lb Tri-tip roast, about 3 inches thick at its thickest point
- ½ tsp Freshly ground black pepper
- ½ tsp piment d’Espelette Also known as “hot paprika”, you can find this in higher end grocery stores.
- 1 tsp sweet paprika
- Kosher Salt
- Canola Oil
- 1 sprig Rosemary
- 1 clove garlic, smashed, skin left on
- 5 slices lemon (preferably Meyer lemon, seeds removed) Make the slices very thin.
Instructions
The Day Before
- Trim the meat of all silver skin. Combine the black pepper, Espelette, and paprika and rub all over the meat. Wrap the meat tightly in plastic wrap, set in a dish of some sort and refrigerate.
The Day Of
- Thirty minutes before cooking, remove the meat from the refrigerator.
- Preheat the oven to 300°F. Set a roasting rack in a roasting pan.
- Pat the meat dry with paper towels and sprinkle on all sides with salt. Heat some oil in a large frying pan over high heat. (I know, this annoyed me too. “some oil” as an instruction in a recipe?!? But, just pour in enough to cover the bottom of the pan and you’ll be fine.)
- When the oil shimmers, add the meat and sear, without moving it, for 1 to 1½ minutes to brown the bottom.
- Turn the meat over, add the butter, rosemary, garlic, and lemon slices, and brown the second side of the meat, another 2 minutes or so, as it browns, tilt the pan from time to time and baste the top of the meat with the butter mixture.
- Transfer the meat to the rack and arrange the lemon slices, rosemary sprig, and garlic clove on top.
- Put the roasting pan in the oven and roast for 40 – 60 minutes, depending on the thickness of the roast, until the temperature in the center of the meat is about 135°F. Let the meat rest on the rack in a warm spot (such as the back of the stove) for about 30 minutes for medium-rare, allowing the juices to redistribute.
- Cut the roast into thin slices: the grain in the tri-tip does not follow a straight line, so adjust the angle of the knife as you carve to continue cutting against the grain. Arrange the meat on a platter and garnish with the lemon slices, rosemary, and garlic.
And after this is done we’ll all have to make an effort to keep up the connections and new lifestyles we’ve created while under lockdown instead of just sliding back into our normal lives. It won’t be easy.
Very true! Re-adjusting to life after this is over will be a challenge, but I’m hopeful that the meaning we take from all of this will linger.